Attached to the RESULT

I have always been a ‘results driven’ person – it all started as a youngster in my sporting days. I always had to win and if I didn’t win somehow I always made it mean I wasn’t good enough deep inside at the time and my automatic reaction was always to push and try harder. To somehow find it in me to drive and push myself even more.

When I was a national sportswoman in touch football throughout the 80’s and 90’s, I noticed that my whole focus was on the national championships at the start of the year pushing myself training 2-3 times a day (yes I said 2-3 times a day) sometimes it was morning before work, beach run at lunch time and then a game after work. Then after the championships, I would do it all over again the following year. Wow I did have a lot of energy back in those days, yet I know the difference today because it was a driven energy that was not sustainable because it was attached to a lot of should’s and have to’s. I certainly live life very differently now with my natural energy flow.

As I reflected on my sporting journey I noticed I also did this in every other area of my life. I noticed I never fully enjoyed the journey at a conscious level because I was in a ‘Doing’ mode focussing only on the end result and did whatever it took to be my best, all in the aid of performance. A lot of life went by and I missed out on connecting with myself and others because I became one-eyed in life.

Now I am not talking about not putting in the effort and energy to be your best, what I am talking about is when you only focus on the destination….the journey becomes a blur of ‘Doing’ to get somewhere. Ultimately there is nowhere to get to and the joy is always in the journey of who you are ‘Being’ whilst you are in action towards your desired result.

As I kept reflecting on what was driving me, I realised that the best part I enjoyed the most in my sporting career was the training, which was the journey itself and all along my energy, focus and hopes were how I performed at the national championships. My expectations on myself were impossible to achieve, as I never felt anything I achieved was Enough! It didn’t matter if I played really great and others would acknowledge me, I never really let it in because I was too busy being so darn hard on myself for what I did not do well. Obviously they did not know this, but I am sure they picked up my slap back to them when I did not thank them for their acknowledgement or even by allowing it in. You can tell when someone acknowledges someone if they have not accepted it, even by what they do not say.

Even as I write this article, I am noticing insights about the fact that in the first place my performance was based on wanting to be accepted and acknowledged or even be proud of by others and the irony is at the very moment I received acknowledgement I still did not accept it. It was impossible for me to even notice my own success with me having such a strong inner critic which was very old school way of thinking in my upbringing that if you were too confident, you would be seen as cocky and a smart allic!

As a business owner today, I keep catching myself when I become that one-eyed focussed on the Results. This is when I create my own stress on myself and stifles the growth of the business.  I am not talking about not having a vision and a plan, what I am talking about is not being attached to the results. Your only commitment every single day is to enjoy your chosen journey and choose feelings of enthusiasm, love and joy when you take your chosen actions towards achieving your big vision.

Let go of the results ~ Let go of when it will happen ~ Let go of how it will happen ~ Let go of trying to control everything….Struth….I can feel you jumping through the page asking “Then what do I do?” Yes, I totally understand; being a real control freak and results driven type of person myself; asked exactly the same question years ago. You know your values, your vision and your goals, set up your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly; doing the important things first according to your values and take only the inspired actions that move you towards achieving your vision. MOST OF ALL you FEEL GOOD inside because your feelings create an energy and a vibration that will attract to you whatever you desire. It is the good feelings inside your actions that you need to hang on to and be committed to every day.

I noticed that when I stayed focussed on the results it is a controlling feeling and a fear feeling of not believing it will happen. I then create a low energy and force actions to happen, as I keep pushing myself through and living in hope! So much more harder. Life was not meant to be Hard – I totally understand now and live the motto that Life IS Easy!

We are taught to believe that persistence is the key. Yes, persistence is the key, yet only if you enjoy the journey of your everyday life and not being attached to your end result. The missing link I noticed is that I needed to know my desired end result and know that whatever comes to me could be greater than and even better than I imagined because of my initial thought of the desired result. If you are attached to a result looking a certain way, then you may be limiting your own success.

Simple Steps to Remember

1. Thoughts of Desired Result
2. Creates Feelings/Enthusiasm
3. Take Inspired Actions
4. Let Go of what, how, when Result will occurA Result will occur for your greatest and highest good in life (always your next learning lesson)